Order In The Court

They say these  Statments were actually said in Court by people word for word, then taken down and now published by Court reporters…  anyway you be the judge, but if they are True how did they keep from laughing while these were all taking place?

  _________________________________
 
 Judge: “Well, Sir, I have reviewed this case and I’ve decided to give  your wife $775.00 a week.”
 Husband: “That’s fair, your honor. I’ll try  to send her a few bucks myself.” _________________________________
 

 Q:
What is your date of birth?
  A: July fifteenth.
  Q: What year?
  A: Every year.
  _________________________________

  Q: What gear were you in at moment of the impact?
  A: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
   _________________________________

  Q: Did you blow your horn or anything?
  A: After the accident?
  Q: Before the accident.
  A: Sure, I played for 10 years. I even went to school for it.
  _________________________________
 
 Q: Trooper, when you stopped the defendant, were your red and blue lights flashing?
 A: Yes.
  Q: Did the defendant say anything when she got out of her car?
  A: Yes, sir.
  Q: What did she say?
  A: What disco am I at?
  _________________________________
 
 Q: Now doctor, isn’t it true that when a person dies in his sleep,  he doesn’t know

about it until the next morning? 
  _________________________________
 
  Q: Were you present when your picture was taken?
  _________________________________
 
  Q: She had three children, right?
  A: Yes.
  Q: How many were boys?
  A: None.
  Q: Were there any girls?
  _________________________________
 
 Q: You said the stairs went down to the basement?
  A: Yes.
  Q: And these stairs, did they go up also?
  _________________________________
 
 Q: How was your first marriage terminated?
  A: By death.
  Q: And by whose death was it terminated?
  _________________________________
 
 Q: Can you describe the individual?
  A: He was about medium height and had a beard.
  Q: Was this a male or a female?
  _________________________________
 
 Q: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition that I sent to our attorney?
  A: No, this is how I usually dress for work.
  _________________________________
 
 Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?
 A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.
_________________________________
 
  Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for pulse?
  A: No.
  Q: Did you check for blood pressure?
  A: No.
  Q: Did you check for breathing?
  A: No.
  Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
 A:No.
  Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
  A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
  Q: But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless?
  A: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere.

I saw a good notice in a Store,  it said… If you are going to steal please smile for the Camera.


 

About Freedomborn ... Aussie Christian Focus

Hi I’m a Spiritual Child of The King of Kings and Lord of Lords, my name is Anne. I live in Queensland Australia, I’m very much a People person believing we are all people of worth and unique, so I have much Joy in sharing with people personally and over the Internet. My main focus in life is my wonderful Friendship with Jesus Christ, without Him everything else would be meaningless, I have deep heartfelt thanks and appreciation that I'm a Spiritual Child of The King of Kings and I seek to share with others how truly wonderful that is with the hope they too will realize the same and be set free.
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10 Responses to Order In The Court

  1. ron says:

    A lot of good oldies there ,still good for a laugh ,and you have to do a Uni course to be a lawyer ?? makes you wonder . Thanks for the laugh Anne
    Ron

    Like

  2. Lady Deidre says:

    Laughing! That was hilarious and no pun intended, but it sounded like a court room. 🙂

    Like

  3. Thanks for a few smiles Anne. I’ve read most before, but these can be read numerous times and still bring smiles. Have you also read the ones from insurance claims after a motor vehicle accident? Some are priceless.

    Like

  4. Naphtali says:

    Anne, I needed a good laugh. Right now I want to choke someone.

    Like

    • Freedomborn says:

      I Love your honesty Cathy but I think murder is against the Law both God’s and man’s and I’m sure you wouldn’t be laughing after the verdict was given but please e-mail me, sharing always helps let off steam and gets us thinking straight again.

      Christian Love Anne.

      Like

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