Jesus Holds My Babies
I never held my Babies in a warm and Loving embrace or watched with wonder the joy that brightened their face,
I never saw their smiles or held them in my arms or was I ever enraptured by all their Childlike charms.
Although my dreams were many and I longed to hold them close the joy of their Childhood I never was to know.
Part of me was taken the day they laid them to rest and yet in my heart I knew it was for the best.
All the pain and anguish I had within my soul needed to be healed before I could be whole.
They are my precious ones and will always be in my heart and
my Love for them will never ever depart.
Do I understand God’s purposes in this life I may never know
but I trust and believe His promise that with Him only
His Love will be shown.
For deep within my heart I know without a doubt that my Children are in Heaven that’s what grace is all about.
God knew from the beginning that their life on earth was short, He holds them in His arms and His joy they have always known, calling them by name they are a part of His eternal home for He knew them in His heart right from the very start.
My Heavenly Father knows my pain and He listens to my cry and with deep Compassion He wipes the tears from my eyes.
He fills my heart with wonder holding me close in His arms and nothing can compare not the world and all it’s charms.
He understands my needs for He sees within my soul and other Children’s arms He gives to ease the pain and His Love is not restrained as He makes me whole again.
Knowing Joy that only a mother’s Love can feel for the wonder of His Children the Lord gives to help us heal.
We are God’s Children and are fully known sharing our happiness, turmoil and pain but we no longer bear any shame,
As we walk together His way we have come to know putting our Trust in Christ Jesus His Hope and Joy will show.
Often I wonder how it would have been if I had known my Children as they fulfilled their dreams.
Did I need the Compassion that not sharing with them would bring, does this thorn I have give Love within my heart for all of God’s Children who are being torn apart.
This is something I may never understand but God holds me by my hand giving His Joy that only His Love can impart deep in my heart.
I will never hold the Children that I carried under my breast not until in Heaven I reach my Eternal rest,
But God’s grace was shown and my life has been greatly blessed.
So thank you all for being a part of the wonder and Joy in my heart for even in the hard times when in pain I shed a tear I know that in Jesus arms He will take away my fear and by giving you His compassion and His Love He draws me near.
Penned By Annie
Freedomborn 
Pingback: The Damage from Abortion is Not just Physical | Freedomborn
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Annie, Very touching as you share this loss (and void) from your life. Like a Psalm, as your poem evolves, we hear a trust in our God and the expectation that God will fill every void, nook and cranny in your life. Thank you for the example of refined faith that weather the heartbreak of life with joy and purpose!
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Thank you dear Debbie, you are indeed a gift from The God. Yes I lost my babies but not God’s Love, I’m very blessed indeed, my babies are in Heaven but God’s redeemed Children like you and others who care and their children have filled my heart with wonderful memories which give me joy even when there is tears in my eyes.
I’m off to bed soon, if you have Posted I will see you tomorrow, thanks again.
Christian Love Always – Annie
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Your comment on That Day That Lies Ahead never did show up. Your comment to me asking about it has now disappeared. This isso strange. I do hope you’ll comment again as i value your insight.Blessings,sweet friend.
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I checked it out Debbie and I can still see my comment in answer to your Post and your response now too and have taken Screenshots but what I asked in the comment that disappeared, “was why you had not answered it” because I could see you hadn’t, the same with some other Bloggers but you have now responded so all is well.
Blessings – Anne
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So heartfelt and heart -breaking. Only until you have the void and silence in a home that only children can fill, do you realize the memories never experienced.
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A Mother’s Heart Denied http://debbiesjourneytohealthandhope.com/2014/11/14/a-mothers-heart-denied/ My poem about the heartache of no babies.
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Now We’ll Never Know http://debbiesjourneytohealthandhope.com/2015/03/02/now-well-never-know/ poem on abortion.
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I don’t understand?
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The first link is to the wrong poem. It should be to a Mother’s Heart Denied
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As I said in the message I left on your Phone Debbie, both links you posted on your comments led to your Dashboard, I still have them, email me if you want to see them.
Blessings – Anne
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I saw it . I haven’t slept in three nights and did that without thinking.
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Sorry Debbie, I could not find your link to a “Mother’s Heart Denied,” with your search on your Blog, it just says Nothing Found.
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Thank you Debbie for your links and yes it’s True, God brings good out of all things but He does not plan for us to suffer to achieve them as some who are deceived Propagate, all good things come from Him, He is Love and can do no evil, His plans for us are very good.
Blessings Debbie – Christian Love Always – Anne.
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I’m sorry Debbie that you feel such a loss, it must have been very hard having wanted Children so much but never having them or even having the opportunity to reach out to them in other ways.
I Thank God I have always been blessed with Children in my life, they have been in my heart and in my arms even from my Teens. I was a Children’s Carer in an Orphanage, where I was also trained as a Pre- School Kindergarten Teacher, later I became a Governess. I have Nephews and Nieces whom I often had contact with when they were young, friends have also shared their Children with me over the years.
When Ron and I knew we couldn’t have any of our own Children or even Adopt them because of Ron’s age, we cared for them for years with an Organization called Aunties and Uncles. I also have had wonderful times with Ron’s Grandchildren. I’m a R.E Teacher and have often taught Sunday School. I organized and ran a Play Group for years, which gave me great Joy too, I cared for tiny tots in Creches. I now have my own Funday Schools, which are mostly for Children from Dysfunctional Families and they often visit me, I’m their Grannie Annie. When I go Shopping I talk to Mums and Dad’s and their Children and there is always big warm smiles when I see them again. .
My life Debbie has been blessed with Children and as I shared in my Poem, God gave me a Mothers Love for all those He filled my heart and arms with but yes I have often thought about my own little ones but I’m comforted that they are in Heaven and have only known Joy and that we will be reunited one day.
God Bless you greatly Debbie, with the Love you Bless others with – Anne.
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Anne I, too, have had children in my life from a very early age. I ran a baby sitting business until I left for college. My life has been filled with other women’s children. This is and always will be the deepest hurt of my heart.
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God still fills my life with Children Debbie as I choose to open my heart and arms to them but they are not a job now, it is a privilege to have them in my life and it always was, even when they were my Job (see link below) they were still my Children in my heart and I Loved them as I do now, perhaps that is why I don’t feel a loss that causes me to grieve anymore, although like you I would still like to hold my own Children and tell them I Love them but I look forward to doing so in Heaven.
I realize Debbie you don’t have the same Hope but you will be reunited with all the other Children’s lives you have touched with God’s Love and those you will touch in the future.
Orphanage- https://freedomborn.wordpress.com/2014/05/10/being-a-mum-comes-from-the-heart-not-the-womb/
I would also like to reach out to God’s Children now Debbie with Blogging but not sure how to do this, just having a Blog for Children, does not mean they will visit and read what we share, we have to reach out to them first but how do we find them?
Blessings Debbie – Christian Love Always – Anne.
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I really don’t think it is possible as parent’s are very careful about the internet .
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Perhaps you are right Debbie and it is very good they are protected. I will just continue to reach out to God’s Children who have grown up but I will no longer bother if they are Childish as they won’t listen anyway, they still need their dipper’s changed an to be potty trained and only God can do that but only if they choose to let Him and put their Carnal flesh to death as they aim to be Perfected in Love.
Blessings – Anne
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As far as the ones not to bother with ,I just did some research on pearls.Matthew 7:6 Do not give dogs what is sacred: do not throw your pearls before pigs.If you do they may trample them under their feet, and turn and tear you to pieces.
This verse is in reference to Christ ( Matthew 13:46 The Pearl of Great Price) being unblemished perfection. Do not keep trying to tell people about Christ who do not want to accept him or they will finally turn on you and hurt you beyond repair. Just something to think aobut!Loveyou, Debbie
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I do not judge others Eternal Destiny Debbie, God tells us not to, they may still come to heart repentance on their deathbed by the good seeds planted but we can see if someone is walking with Jesus or if they are in the Carnal flesh by their words and actions. But if they reject Jesus who is The Truth and only way to God, than His Truth will not reach them and we are to walk away.
Childish and deceived Christians have not rejected Jesus but show contempt by their behavior and lack of Love for others, whom they slander and are rude to unless they agree with what they propagate, which is for itching ears, they do not have a relationship with God but not saying they won’t have if they come to their senses and repent.
God protects our souls, No one can hurt us beyond repair if we are in Christ Jesus but yes we can be hurt physically, we only have to read what happened to Paul (see below) but in the end he was Victorious as were the others in the early Church who followed Jesus and we will be too.
2 Corinthians 11:24-31 Of the Jews five times received I forty stripes save one. Thrice was I beaten with rods, once was I stoned, thrice I suffered shipwreck, a night and a day I have been in the deep; In journeyings often, in perils of waters, in perils of robbers, in perils by mine own Countrymen, in perils by the heathen, in perils in the city, in perils in the wilderness, in perils in the sea, in perils among false brethren; In weariness and painfulness, in watchings often, in hunger and thirst, in fastings often, in cold and nakedness. Beside those things that are without, that which cometh upon me daily, the care of all the Churches. Who is weak, and I am not weak? who is offended, and I burn not? If I must needs glory, I will glory of the things which concern mine infirmities.
What did Paul hold onto in his trials, what kept him safe so he was not burned up by Satan’s Testing, the same empowering that keeps us strong to the end.
Isaiah 43:1-3 – Do not be afraid, for I have ransomed you. I have called you by name; you are mine. When you go through deep waters and great trouble, I will be with you. When you go through rivers of difficulty, you will not drown! When you walk through the fire of oppression, you will not be burned up; the flames will not consume you. For I am the LORD, your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Saviour.”
Lamentations 3: 33 For God doth not afflict willingly nor grieve the children of men.
Christian Love dear Debbie – Anne
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I did not say, intententionally ,anything, that I know of, that should have led you to think I was judging people or were you. The two verses I gave you were the two I came across during my quite time on pearls this morning. These were from two different versions. I said what I did because you said,”I will just continue to reach out to God’s Children who have grown up but I will no longer bother if they are Childish as they won’t listen anyway, they still need their dipper’s changed an to be potty trained and only God can do that but only if they choose to let Him and put their Carnal flesh to death as they aim to be Perfected in Love.”
The scriptures were the ones to say do not keep throwing your pearls before swine, I take every word of God that is written as fact and will continue to take Him at his word.
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So do I Debbie, God’s Truth in Scripture is my bread, but I’m not not sure why you thought I was saying you were judging others, I was just saying I don’t and that we know who are dogs because they reject Jesus who is The Truth.
Blessings – Anne
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Well, your first sentence of the other post said ,I do not judge others, Debbie. I guessI just read it wrong. The written word can be a bit tenuous at times without the inflection of voice. I know both our hearts and they both want only to please Jesus in every area of our lives. Blessings to you, friend! Debbie
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As I shared before Debbie, I do not judge others Eternal Destiny or their weaknesses and shortcomings but I do rebuke those in the Church who sin, I correct error in teaching and I also warn of danger, as God tells us to do in Love and for Love.
I Phoned you this morning Debbie, my time but could not make contact, I will try again, I need your prayers and Godly advice.
Blessings dear Sister in The Lord -Anne.
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I probably was outside taking sunset pictures as it was gorgeous tonight. I’m going to the mountains with my sister for 4days so you may not be aboe to getaconnection but you can try.
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Thank you, Anne, for directing me to your poem. It was VERY moving, and even more poignant now that I have experienced the same loss. I know in my heart that God has a plan for all of this, and I pray that He continues to direct my feet upon His path. Be blessed…
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Dear Guy my heart prayers are very much with you and your family, I was not sure how you would view this poem being so soon after your loss but it brought me much healing. At the time my intention was to write about Mothers for Mothers day but I was moved to write about my Babies, it was like a gift from God, a balm to heal my heart and a reassurance that my 7 babies were with Him.
He has recently given me some Scripture and I thought of you as you shared, may God comfort you as you take it to heart and know he capturers your tears in His heart vessel and will change them one day to tears of Joy.
Lamentations 3: 33 For He doth not afflict willingly nor grieve the children of men.
Isaiah 43:1-3 – Do not be afraid, for I have ransomed you. I have called you by name; you are mine. When you go through deep waters and great trouble, I will be with you. When you go through rivers of difficulty, you will not drown! When you walk through the fire of oppression, you will not be burned up; the flames will not consume you. For I am the LORD, your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Saviour.”
Jeremiah 29 :11-12 For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the LORD, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.
Christian Love Anne.
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>> “Often I wonder how it would have been if I had known my Children as they fulfilled their dreams”
Telling words Annie, and words I share, but I have five wonderful sons so for me the pain is less. One day – and one day soon, I believe, we will meet our babies. Meanwhile, they are safe and happy and we praise our great God for all His goodness to us.
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Hi Angela, yes I have wondered what my Children would have been like but I have no pain now, I have complete Peace in their memory, you would understand more if you knew how my life was at the time I lost them but please let me assure you that just knowing they have never suffered or had heartache but only Joy as you shared comforts me greatly, I smile when I think of this and rejoice, I could have wished nothing better for them and thank God they are in His care.
But it sadens and angers me when people say it was God’s will, He did not cause illness and suffering or plan for me to have that heartache, my babies were not strong their development was impaired , why I may never know for sure but it may have been from the Abortion others have lost other children because of them, but what ever the reason to say God planned their death is slander but He did know they would die and He has comforted me and has given me great Joy through other peoples Children and eternity with my little ones is something wonderful to look forward to.
Christian Love Anne.
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Oh my! I’m speechless. I posted something a few moments before reading YOUR HEART (this post), and in it I said “that our anointing and our worship come at an unforeseen price.” Could not be more truly said about you. I feel and felt, with this post in particular, such a sweet anointing. And I am sending you the biggest hug. HE truly does give beauty for ashes. You are so special, and if we don’t meet before, I can’t wait to meet you in HEAVEN.
your sis in CHRIST,
Dulcinea
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Dear Dulcinea that is a pretty name, God greatly blessed my life but not by causing heartache, suffering and hardship the Scriptures tell us He does not do this but He has brought good from it all and continues to do so.God’s anointing is always done in Love and for Love and He knows what we will go through in Life and carries us when needed through the storms. Yes He does give beauty for ashes but He doesn’t cause the fire that leaves the ashes.. God is Love and can do no evil and just the same as you wouldn’t deliberately hurt your children God’s Love is greater then ours and He doesn’t hurt us.
Christian Love Anne
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beautiful words friend, may God bless and strengthen you.
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Thank you for your encouragement mtsweat, we may not agree on all things but we do on our Awesome King of Kings and that He is Love.
Christian Love Anne.
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