Rescued from the Graveyard…..

GRAVEYARD

Today I want to share another part of my life one that crushed my spirit for a long time, the pain I felt was very great, I was lost in the graveyard of despair but I’m not sharing this message to put blame on anyone, I want to show just how great God’s Love and forgiveness is and how even when I thought I came from an Ape and He was just made up having been deceived at School and having it reinforced by my Mother, He was still there watching over me.

But He could not come close to me because I had built a big wall of sin that kept Him away, good and evil cannot co- exist, God is Love and can do no evil or does He accept it and so we were Separated but Jesus came and set me free and the wall of sin was broken down but that was many years later.

Set free

To save detail here I will leave a link below for you which shows God’s amazing Love and protection in my life over those years for which I am now eternally thankful even though at the time I didn’t thank Him.

Childhood – http://freedomborn.wordpress.com/2011/09/27/the-early-years-a-little-lost-girl/

Teenager – http://freedomborn.wordpress.com/2011/11/28/my-journey-continues-the-teenage-years/

I was often hurting in my Teenage years and so I messed up big time, I was very lonely so if a boy said he loved me, I gave myself to him but of course when the novelty wore off he would move on and once again I was alone and hurting with scars that would not heal.

Than I meet my first husband, I will call him Bill, he said he loved me from the minute he saw me, which was on a Train going to work, he was staring at me so intently that I felt nervous and blinked which he took for a wink and so he followed me to work, our relationship blossomed, we were in love or perhaps infatuated and it remained that way, until I started working as a Child Carer which was a live in position in an Orphanage, (see link below) this meant we saw very little of each other and so we drifted apart but we met by accident years later and our love was rekindled, I became pregnant and we decided to get Married and by the time we did Marry, I was almost 5mths pregnant.

Orphanage- http://freedomborn.wordpress.com/2014/05/10/being-a-mum-comes-from-the-heart-not-the-womb/

Bill like me had been badly abused in his childhood and had also seen his Mother abused by his father whom he loved and hated, he never knew how to handle his emotions and nor did I. Within a few days after being married Bill started to physically abuse me, I hemorrhaged and lost the baby but it was very weak, so something else may have caused the miscarriage, the Doctors were never sure about any of the 6 babies I lost with Bill and not all were caused because of his abuse, I had an Abortion when I was younger (see link below) and damage may have resulted.

Abortion- http://freedomborn.wordpress.com/2011/11/25/mommy-please-love-me/

Bill would cry and promise never to hurt me again but the physical abuse continued and many times he almost took my life, he abused me as he had been abused and there were other woman too. I made up excuses for the bruises, black eyes and welt marks, so why did I stay, I tried running away to find someone else who would love and care for me but that ended in a mess too, I still felt love for Bill and he for me, so we tried again.

We were Married for 8 years but towards the end he met another woman and this one became pregnant, Bill hoping to have a healthy child left me but I was at the time having psychometric illnesses because of fear and it was not working anyway, I would go to sleep when he walked into the same room not a good way to have a on going relationship, the Doctor warned me I was in danger, I started to also loose my hearing and balance, no reason was found but not long after Bill left they returned.

I still Love Bill as I do others but with God’s Love now, not carnal love, Jesus empowers me to forgive all those who hurt me when I choose to do so.

I was healed of my Childhood abuse and what I have suffered over those years when I was Married to Bill, some of which I’m sure I caused myself but before Jesus rescued me and I came to heart repentance, I suffered more heartache and I continued to sin greatly, so in the end I became dead emotionally like an Iceberg and I couldn’t even cry, I was lost in a deep dark graveyard of despair.

86CROSS

I haven’t seen Bill for 38 years but I did talk to him on Facebook a couple of years ago and in the last message I told him I forgave him and asked him to forgive me too, he didn’t reply to this but I continue to pray for him to find the reality of Jesus our Lord and Saviour, that his eyes will be opened and he will no longer be in darkness like I was  and so many still are. I want so much for Bill to be able to  choose the free gift of Salvation and in coming to heart repentance experience Jesus’ Love and healing  and  have the old record broken so he can have His deep inner Joy and Eternal Hope.

 

Forgiveness
We know that Hurt people Hurt people and themselves and that holding onto bitterness towards anyone or seeking revenge only hurts us, it’s like mixing poison for them and drinking it ourselves, it’s an insidious Cancer that eats away all the goodness leaving a big black hole that can’t be filled.

 

1 Forgiven much

Even now with having assurance that I’m forgiven, I still remember how much I hurt Jesus and others, so how can I not forgive those who hurt me, yes we may not be able to be in close fellowship together until they also heal by forgiving me if needed or those who have hurt them, sometimes people blame others wrongly or even God for their suffering and so they need to ask forgiveness for doing this too… God never afflicts us willingly and what is very important is for us to receive and feel His Love and forgiveness as a reality, we need to forgive others as He forgives us.

Forgivness pill 1

True forgiveness is when we can Pray for others to receive all the good things we would like for ourselves,  this Medicine  is the best one we will ever take, it heals fast and permanently.

 

Bible 0

Mark 11:25-26 And when ye stand praying, forgive, if ye have ought against any: that your Father also which is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses. But if ye do not forgive, neither will your Father which is in heaven forgive your trespasses.

Ephesians 4:31-32 Let all bitterness and wrath and anger, and clamour and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.

Luke 17:3-5 Take heed to yourselves: If thy brother trespass against thee, rebuke him; and if he repent, forgive him. And if he trespass against thee seven times in a day, and seven times in a day turn again to thee, saying, I repent; thou shalt forgive him. And the apostles said unto the Lord, Increase our faith.

Matthew 5:43-45 Ye have heard that it hath been said, Thou shalt love thy neighbour, and hate thine enemy. But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you; That ye may be the Children of your Father which is in Heaven: for He maketh His sun to rise on the evil and on the good, and sendeth rain on the just and on the unjust.

Thanks for listening and God bless you all greatly – Christian Love from both of us -Anne.

Music – You rescued me

 

About Freedomborn ... Aussie Christian Focus

Hi Child of The King of Kings and Lord of Lords, my name is Anne. I live in Queensland Australia, I’m very much a People person believing we are all people of worth and unique, so I have much Joy in sharing with people personally and over the Internet. Ron my husband encourages and supports me with my Blogs which I'm very grateful for. My main focus in life is my wonderful friendship with Jesus Christ, without Him everything else would be meaningless, I have deep heartfelt thanks and appreciation that I'm a Child of The King of Kings and I seek to share with others how truly wonderful that is with the hope they too will realise the same and be set free.
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17 Responses to Rescued from the Graveyard…..

  1. Dear Anne,

    Thank you for giving me the link to this posting.

    As I continue to unravel the story of your life one post at a time, I grow more and more awed at the trials you have surpassed and the sheer strength of faith and will it must have taken to overcome everything you’ve experienced. I am sure it truly must have been an emotionally and spiritually trying time to love someone who did not treat you as he should have. But as much as God gives us a heart sensitive enough to feel pain, He also gives us all the time and fortitude and wisdom we need to forgive those who have hurt us.

    You have a heart of gold. It brings tears to my eyes to realize that within our Father’s family there exists a soul as beautiful and pure as yours.

    Blessings always,
    Katrina

    • Dear Katrina, I too cried when I read your Loving affirmation of me as a woman of value, nobody has ever given me such beautiful, uplifting encouragement, it shows the beauty of your heart, you see in others what is in you.

      Remember the woman who washed Jesus’ feet with her tears and than wiped them with her hair, Jesus said she Loved much because she had been forgiven much, that’s me, I was a lost sheep, I thought I was OK, I was going to Church but I lost my way, I hurt, God, others and myself, I thought I was no good for anything, I wanted to die but Jesus rescued me, I will leave a link for you…..

      Rescued – http://freedomborn.wordpress.com/2013/05/25/jesus-rescued-his-lost-sheep/

      When I came to heart repentance it was than that Jesus became the most important person in my life, I want more than anything in the World to bring others through Him, the freedom He has given me, so they too may have deep inner Joy and experience the reality of knowing how much they are Loved by The King of kings and Lord of lords.

      Blessings – Anne

  2. Thanks for sharing so honestly and giving good advice. We know that we have truly forgiven when we pray and long for those who hurt us to receive Christ and be healed. And remembering that we’ve also caused such pain should help us get to that point of forgiving as we have been forgiven by God.

    Much love, Ufuoma.

    • Yes Ufuoma this is a prayer I often pray for those who have no Hope but it will always be their choice, God does not force anyone to repent, He does not want Puppets but He knows we will accept His free gift of Salvation by our repentance, even before we are conceived, He knows all things.

      Thank you for the links on your Blog Ufuoma, it was so good following your messages, I appreciate it when Bloggers share their special links because they are sharing what is close to their hearts and in this way we get to know them, our closest friends were once strangers but than we got to appreciate them as people of worth and Love them as those who are very special in our lives.

      Thanks for visiting and sharing – Christian Love – Anne

  3. rhosglwm says:

    Thank you for sharing this with me. It helps me to hear your story.

    • Thank you for sharing my Journey with me Adrienne and I’m glad it helped you, sometimes the hardest thing to do is not just forgiving others but ourselves too, it helps to remember that God has forgiven us and Jesus does not condemn us, even if some people do and when they do it highlights their sin not ours but we are to Love even our enemies and for this type of Love we ask Jesus to give us.

      Christian Love Always – Anne

  4. This is a very powerful post Anne. It touches hearts through your honest and raw experience. I realize it took a great deal of courage to reveal this innermost, private situation. Thankfully through your positive attitude I know it will strengthen others. My blessings to you both because through it all God is faithful to those he calls His own,

    • Thank you Ellie, life can be hard but God is Loving and compassionate, He showed me how to forgive by how He forgave. When I write about my past now I do so without pain, Jesus has healed me but it does remind me of others who are still in pain and so I’m sad for them but I pray with the Hope that they too will know the Hope I have in Him.

      Christian Love – Anne.

  5. T says:

    Anne, wow thank you for sharing your story. I have no words to express how it moved me. I will be reading all the other links very soon.

    • Thank you T I appreciate that you feel blessed and your kindness in saying that you do by leaving a comment.

      I put off sharing about Bill on our blog for a long time but I found I handled the memories OK, it was a very painful part of my life, loosing my Babies and the abuse from the man I loved but forgiveness for me from The Lord and for Bill from me brought great healing.

      I hope you are blessed also T by the other messages that focus on my life, it has been very hard but I have known Joy too and continue to see and experience God’s Love in many wonderful ways, He is so good.

      Christian Love – Anne

  6. Anne, forgiveness is part of who we are as Christians. Your openness is being used by God to help another struggling Believer somewhere. Blessings dear friend! Marie

    • Thank you for your Loving and kind words dear Marie and yes I believe you do know what forgiveness is all about and it is not just a word or a bitter pill to you but if needed Medicine that you willing give and take.

      Thank you for your friendship, you have blessed me greatly.

      Christian Love – Anne

  7. Ron says:

    Isn’t it good to know Anne of one relationship in which you can enjoy and feel completely comfortable and safe, and in human relationships, that`s not always possible. But that`s what Jesus offers us, He says to come to Him ,and He will offer us rest, a safe place, and comfort and peace. I guess it`s up to each of us to take up His offer. Anne you found that out.

    Blessings
    Ron

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